Memorial/Mother's Day

It is absolutely true when people say they think of their loved ones every day.  I always thought that was sort of an exaggeration, but it absolutely is not.

I have been thinking a lot about my mom lately, I really do think of her every day, but it seems like lately she has been at the forefront of my mind.  I miss her so much it sometimes takes a physical toll on me, I can't explain that one-it's weird.

I have a blanket my mom made.  The last one she ever made.

She crocheted it, she loved to crochet.  I never learned to crochet until after she died.  Now that I know how to do this-very simply, she was something of a master.  I realize that you touch every inch of yarn as it turns into your project.  It just passes through your fingers.  

My mom touched every inch of that blanket, it went through her hands, through her fingers.  

She worked on it on the days she felt good.  She wanted to finish it, she made a blanket for every one of her children so it was important to her to make one for Cris, my husband-to-be and her future son-in-law.  

This blanket sits in my living room over the rocking chair.  It is a striped blanket which means she made each strip, and then stitched the strips together, then made a border.  It is beautiful, and I know a lot of labor went into making this blanket.

It is the blanket my husband wrapped around me after the phone call we received telling us that Dad had died.  Cris later told me he felt I needed a hug from my mom, that was why he wrapped me in the blanket that night.

If you look closely at the corners of the blanket, and at the end of the strips you can see that the ends are unfinished.

I can't describe how this affects me.  It is so like her life.

Unfinished.

I know there was so much more life my mom wanted to live, and I hate for me and her to have missed out on all that living!  I am being selfish in that phrase, she was such a good mother to all 4 of her kids. 

She adored us all.  

I cannot imagine how much she would have adored her grandchildren.  She would have been the squishy hug, never-let-you-go sort of grandmother.  She would have been all about forts in the family room and Disney movies until dawn.  She would have shown the kids where her secret chocolate stash was, and she would have taught them "You are my Sunshine".

How I miss this woman.

Luckily, and somewhat prophetically, my mom made a whole bunch of baby blankets and stored them away for her future grandchildren.  I have a couple of those...we all do.  I have always loved the idea of wrapping my children in them knowing she touched every inch of those blankets as well.  

It is her way of hugging them.

My mom is truly amazing.  I hope she thinks of me as much as I think of her.  I cannot wait to hug her again, and just have the longest talk EVER!  It's a good thing we will have eternity, as I don't think I will ever shut up.

Mother's Day

 THIS is my Mother's Day present.

I got a new washer AND dryer!  That's right folks, both.  They are amazing, I had no idea I would ever get so excited over laundry!

My sweet in-laws came up last weekend and took me shopping, I knew that was their plan, but I had no idea what KIND of shopping we would be doing.  

You know when someone does something sooooo nice for you, you have no idea how to thank them?  My in-laws are famous for doing that sort of thing.

I mean, look at this!!!

 Smalls was almost as excited as me!  And the guys that came and hooked everything up let her come in and take all the change they found under the dryer-she was in Heaven!  Before they left, one of the guys let her have all the change in his pocket!  How nice huh.  

So, Smalls had a great day.

She is amazed that she can watch her clothes get cleaned through the top of the washer, which is so cute, except I keep tripping over the step stool.

 Pretty soon Kermit was in on the action too, Tink enjoyed it, but she would not stay long enough to be in a picture.  Smalls was only too happy to oblige, and pose.

They stayed like this for...well, way too long.

THANK YOU NANA AND GRANDPA!  

I have no idea how to thank you so that you really know the gratitude I feel, 

but then, 

you are famous for that.

Tenderfoot!

 So, my sweet sweet Kermit is just getting older all the time!  We are so proud of him, he had his first Court of Honor, and received his Tenderfoot in Scouts!  He looked so stinking cute in his uniform, but this is as still as he held for me all the night long!  There were way too many other boys to run around with and have fun with, so I will count my blessings and be grateful I got this shot!  

It was a really good program, but best of all there were cupcakes at the end!  So all the kiddos were happy, and sugared up, and had way too much energy, so on the way home, we talked and I quieted them down but as soon as we got home....

Poor Smalls got her finger smashed in the car door!  Kermit just let go of his door as she grabbed the door frame, so she was wailing away and then Kermit felt so bad he was crying too.  Tink did her best to help me calm everyone down-I love that girl.  I took this picture and sent it to Rambo to see what he thought.  We ended up calling my visiting teacher Arica (who is a pediatric nurse) to come take a look at it.  Smalls LOVES Arica, so as soon as she walked in, Smalls bent her fingers and smiled through all her tears and Arica assessed her finger was not broken.

WHEW!!!

It was a crazy crazy night!!  I went from being one proud mama to one worried mama!  But ultimately....I am just proud of my little monkeys!

Apple Pie

 My sweet little Tink decided we needed to make an apple pie.

One of our favorite, silly family shows right now is Adventure Time, one of the characters is a little elephant named Tree Trunks, and she bakes the greatest apple pies in all the land.

 That is why Tink needed an apple pie experience.

Rambo did all the camera work and I cannot help it if he thinks I am hot stuff.

 She did such a good job cutting up all the apples, I was a little nervous giving her the knife, but she totally rocked it!  AND she still has all her fingers!  She is going to be an amazing apple pie baker all by herself some day.

I got the amazing job of making the crust...I guess I needed the practice.

I did not get a picture of our finished apple pie, but it was delightful!  We had it a la mode for our Family Home Evening treat and it was a hit!

Tink said she thought Tree Trunks would be proud, and you know, I think she is right.

I love this girl, and I love that we can do stuff like this together now, she is becoming such a sweet little friend.

Owls!!

 Our day started out with a little hike around the foothills!  It was beautiful and sunny and COLD!!!  I told them to wear their jackets, but do they listen to me?  NOOOOOO!  :)

 My favoritest things in the world right there!  RIGHT THERE!!!  I can't tell you how much I love these little goobers!

 Sweet little Tink and Smalls, they thought this looked like the perfect fairy spot, and you know?  I think they are exactly right!
We hiked around to all the spot scopes, we got to see a red-tailed hawk in her nest with her babies and then we got to see the burrow where the owl's nest was.  It was really cool, it was in the side of the hill in a great big hole.  We were a little bummed that the owls were so shy, but it was still plenty exciting for the girls, just KNOWING there were owls up there!!!  GAH!!!

 This was the little tree that had the "nest" in it, so naturally, my little owls had to get up in there (Kermit was completely done at this point).  This was Small's first attempt.

 Tink made it!!!  She is happy as a clam-er owl up there!

 And then Smalls joined her and they were quite content to stay up there all day...if only Tink had worn her jacket....

 No matter, there was plenty to do in the Learning Center!  There were tons of little owl crafts, so the girls both made a toilet paper owl craft, very exciting!

 They both got their faces painted.

 This is Marjorie painting their faces.  She was soooo nice!  Tink didn't want anyone else to paint her face after seeing some of Marjorie's work.

 Sweet little Smalls chose a Snowy Owl.

 There she is, Miss Tink getting her face done.  (She did NOT want me to take pictures of this, so this is exactly like photographing wildlife...in the wild).

 And they are officially OWLS!!!

 And one more stop to make owl hats!!! 

Kermit was quite patient with his little sisters through it all, there was only one minor scuffle throughout the trip, and after a couple quick death threats, things were hunky dory! 
We had a great time!  I really do love hanging out with my kiddos and I was so excited to discover this little learning center up here!  I have a feeling we will be doing a lot of stuff here during the summer!  There were TONS of trails up there!  And I have a brood who love to "discover" things!

Back to Life!

After nearly 2 years of the most terrifying, trying, and ultimately strengthening obstacles of my life, I feel like I am back and better than ever!
There is a saying about having to go through a storm and not being the same person when you come out on the other side.  It is absolutely true!
While I wouldn't wish these trials on my worst enemy, I like myself so much more now!  I have come to realize the blessing of family, of faith, and of self.  I truly think of myself as a friend now, my relationship with my Heavenly Father is so much more meaningful.  I love Him, I know He is there, I know He hears and answers my prayers, and most importantly, I know He loves me.  He is absolutely aware of everything I need and He knows how to help me, He knows exactly what I need, and when I need it.
I need to speak of my children.  They are angels!  They have been through so much, they have watched me struggle, they have watched their father struggle, and I hope the lesson they have taken from all this is that family is stronger!  We are stronger than anything, we are here for each other, we love each other through all of life's storms, and we become stronger by doing so.  They always knew when I needed a hug, when I needed to cry, when I needed to laugh-I cannot tell you how these sweet children made me laugh at times that I should have been so upset!  They truly are my angels, and I don't know how I could have been so lucky to have been entrusted with them!
I have taken many lessons away from these trials, but there is one that continues to stick out, and that is you do not give up on people.  The Lord sent Jonah back to Ninevah in a most unusual way, he sent missionaries countless times to the Lamanites when their hearts were hardened, and then to the Nephites when they were awful.  He never gave up on them, He kept loving them, He kept trying, He kept hoping they would change and come back.  I will never give up.
I am happy.
I have not been able to say that in such a long time, but I am happy-throughout my countenance I am happy.
I love my husband, he is my eternal companion, he is the person I am here to help through this mortal life, and I am happy to be his help meet.  I understand him so much better now, and I will continue to pray for understanding, I will not give up!
It is time to start blogging again, it is time to be happy again, and it is time to start living again!
 
xoxoxoxox

Thanksgiving!!!

Holy moly! I have so much to be thankful for! We had a fun Thanksgiving weekend! We went to Nana's house where all the action is. Before we left, my girlies had to model their turkey shirts, we saw these on Pinterest, and Tink HAD to have one, so we made 'em, surprisingly I had most of the stuff I needed to make them. They turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself!

Check out Tink's modeling, let's see how long she can hold this pose shall we?

Here, with Smalls...

Still holding it while Kermit humors me with a picture...I happen to love his shirt very much too.

And a solo shot of miss supermodel! I love that she was so proud of her turkey! She cracks me up!

She held this pose for like 5 more pictures too...

And she finally changed positions for Smalls to come on in and do her own thing.

I am thankful for my turkeys...and spotty the dinosaur there in the corner...

Once we made it to Nana's house it's always off to their room where they can assault this poor big bear, Clancy. Really though folks, he is a loved bear.

Rambo couldn't wait to get to Nana's so he could....sleep. He had to work the night before, so ssshhhhhh.

Back to playtime! Smalls had way too much fun getting out all of Nana's stuffed animals and hauling them around and hugging the stuffing out of them (not really Nana, they're all fine). And they all had fun playing with their little cousin Liberty!!! She is the cutest little thing! We LOVE her!

Tink throws caution to the wind and rides the sheep! Look how cute this thing is! Grandpa got him Ireland, and I think he is much happier here in the states.

My sweet little Kermit playing with these silly little girls. He is such a sweet boy.

Never change Kermit!

I was just happy to be snapping pictures of these little sweeties.

Again! How proud this makes me, you do not know! I love that my son goes all mushy for babies! Where exactly does he get that????

Dinner time!!! These little girls had a table set just for them and they loved it. I just thought this picture of Smalls was hilarious...that is her puppies scarf she is smooshing her nose with.

Tink is excited and ready to eat. GLOVES OFF!!!!

Seriously, she took her gloves off to eat, see that pink pile on the table...that's them.

Libs and Aunt Sharon. I think Nana had to whack Aunt Sharon's hand from trying to eat those rolls. Seriously, it gets all survival of the fittest up in here!

Uncle Havel smashing the potatoes, they were fabulous might I add.

Rambo and Nana doctoring the gravy.

Aunt Sassy-or is that the hottest Mrs. Claus ever? Nope, just Aunt Sassy, she looks so cute in that 1980's Christmas apron...it's the vintage I think.

And Liberty...she didn't help one bit!

She is ridiculous! I just want to grab her out of this picture. She was such a snuggle bug with me, I ate up every minute of it too, LOVE this little girl!

Time to eat!!! One of my favorite memories from this is that Nana lit the little candles at the tables and Smalls picked her's up and blew it out and said "Happy Birthday!" and then I had to light it again so she could do it again, and watch all the smoke go up in the air...it was so stinking cute!

And Kermit! He took a turkey leg! Look at my viking son! He is a regular Hiccup! I love this kid, I took so many pictures of him with this thing, he finally said, "Would you quite taking pictures of me!?"

No son, I won't.

Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you Nana, we had a yummy dinner and a good dang time!

Later that night/morning, my pop-in-law and I braved the black Friday madness and had so much fun. He is seriously one of the funnest people to hang out with. He was the only other person who wanted to go, so he and I went out and shopped until 3am. I still haven't found my Lalaloopsy doll, but we had so much fun! I asked him if he was sure he wanted to go, and he said, "Even if we don't find anything we want, we have to go so we can tell the tales." I loved that, and I will never forget that. Thanks Grandpa!

I LOVE YOU!

Next day. Check out these ladies working feverishly over a crossword puzzle and an I Spy book. I spy books are my kids' favorite things these days.

And Rambo with these adorable babies! I could just eat this picture. Christmas tree, cute hubby, and precious babies in pajamas to boot! What's not to love?

And to end our post...Rambo won Apples to Apples for the first time in his life while we were at Nana's on this trip, so I had to document this momentous occasion. In the same night my father-in-law proved that he is the Smartest Ass.

We had so much fun with everyone! Thank you Nana and Grandpa!