Memorial/Mother's Day

It is absolutely true when people say they think of their loved ones every day.  I always thought that was sort of an exaggeration, but it absolutely is not.

I have been thinking a lot about my mom lately, I really do think of her every day, but it seems like lately she has been at the forefront of my mind.  I miss her so much it sometimes takes a physical toll on me, I can't explain that one-it's weird.

I have a blanket my mom made.  The last one she ever made.

She crocheted it, she loved to crochet.  I never learned to crochet until after she died.  Now that I know how to do this-very simply, she was something of a master.  I realize that you touch every inch of yarn as it turns into your project.  It just passes through your fingers.  

My mom touched every inch of that blanket, it went through her hands, through her fingers.  

She worked on it on the days she felt good.  She wanted to finish it, she made a blanket for every one of her children so it was important to her to make one for Cris, my husband-to-be and her future son-in-law.  

This blanket sits in my living room over the rocking chair.  It is a striped blanket which means she made each strip, and then stitched the strips together, then made a border.  It is beautiful, and I know a lot of labor went into making this blanket.

It is the blanket my husband wrapped around me after the phone call we received telling us that Dad had died.  Cris later told me he felt I needed a hug from my mom, that was why he wrapped me in the blanket that night.

If you look closely at the corners of the blanket, and at the end of the strips you can see that the ends are unfinished.

I can't describe how this affects me.  It is so like her life.

Unfinished.

I know there was so much more life my mom wanted to live, and I hate for me and her to have missed out on all that living!  I am being selfish in that phrase, she was such a good mother to all 4 of her kids. 

She adored us all.  

I cannot imagine how much she would have adored her grandchildren.  She would have been the squishy hug, never-let-you-go sort of grandmother.  She would have been all about forts in the family room and Disney movies until dawn.  She would have shown the kids where her secret chocolate stash was, and she would have taught them "You are my Sunshine".

How I miss this woman.

Luckily, and somewhat prophetically, my mom made a whole bunch of baby blankets and stored them away for her future grandchildren.  I have a couple of those...we all do.  I have always loved the idea of wrapping my children in them knowing she touched every inch of those blankets as well.  

It is her way of hugging them.

My mom is truly amazing.  I hope she thinks of me as much as I think of her.  I cannot wait to hug her again, and just have the longest talk EVER!  It's a good thing we will have eternity, as I don't think I will ever shut up.